Subject: Self-introduction
Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,
Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,
My name is Musfirah Binte Latiff and the purpose of this
letter is to introduce myself as a student - technical
communication class. I am currently pursuing a degree in telematics
(intelligent transportation systems engineering) at Singapore Institute of
Technology (SIT). I recently graduated from Temasek Polytechnic (TP) with a
diploma in infocomm and network engineering along with a certificate in
psychology.
My interest was piqued in programming when I was reading the
programme overview of my previous diploma course as it was something foreign. During the three years of study in TP, the main take away was having to realize that
programming was more than just a desk job, as communication with users are
crucial to ensure that project requirements are met. Furthermore, after graduating I felt that Singapore was moving ahead in technology and engineering, thus, I decided to pursue a degree that had a mixture of both infocomm technology and engineering.
In terms of my communication strengths, I have the ability
to socialize with strangers easily. During my internship, I had the opportunity
to work with other interns from different departments to aid in one of the
company’s events. During meetings, I had to present my ideas and give
constructive feedback, which gave a platform to show my oral communication
skills. However, I am not confident in making speeches or giving a presentation
in front of an audience as I tend to speak too fast, thus, losing my train of
thoughts. In addition, I am unable to express myself in writing as I overthink,
resulting in writing unnecessary information.
Therefore, my goals for this module is improving my public
speaking and writing skills. Moreover, I wish to sharpen the skill sets that I
have to further upgrade myself. I look forward to learning more about technical
communication in the upcoming classes.
Yours sincerely,
Musfirah Binte Latiff
Edited on 9th October 2018.
Commented on:
- Li Qin
- Evan
- Ming Yu
- Khatcharin
Edited on 9th October 2018.
Commented on:
- Li Qin
- Evan
- Ming Yu
- Khatcharin
The content and structure of your email is very good and you gave a good elaboration on your strengths and weakness. For this sentence " I am unable to express myself in writing as I overthink, resulting in writing unnecessary information", you can write it as "I am unable to express myself in writing as I overthink thus resulting in writing unnecessary information" instead to make the sentence look more smooth and clear.
ReplyDeleteFor the 5th paragraph last sentence, " I look forward to learning more about technical communication in the upcoming classes", the learning should be learn instead.
DeleteActually, "I look forward to learning" is correct.
DeleteDear Khat,
DeleteThank you for reading and commenting on my email. I will take note of the things that you have mentioned.
I hope to see you in class.
Yours sincerely,
Musfirah Binte Latiff
For each paragraph, the purpose is very clear and the language is very concise. The structure is well organised and smooth. The strength and weakness are well developed with detailed examples. I think you can add in more details for the goals you hope to achieve.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Firah,
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your self-introduction. This email is very clear and well developed with detailed examples. I like that you have shared your internship experience with us. I also feel that communication is very important. The details that you provided allow me to have a better understanding about your strength and weakness in communication.
The language used was very fluent and clear. There is one mistake that I have discovered. For " in one of the company’s event”, it should be “in one of the company’s events” instead.
I look forward to see you in class every Wednesday.
Regards,
MingYu
Dear Ming Yu,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read and comment on my email. I shall take note of adding more details for the goals that I hope to achieve.
I look forward in seeing you in class as well.
Yours sincerely,
Musfirah Binte Latiff
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Firah,
DeleteYour letter is well elaborated and organised. After reading through the content of your letter, I realise we were both from the same course in Temasek Polytechnic. The flow of the content is smooth and clear. I like the way you connect your interest in programming with your diploma course to your internship.
One mistake which I noticed in your letter was the numeral '3', you should spell the word of the number out unless it is greater than nine.
Hope to see you in class soon.
Regards,
Evan
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Evan,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my email and I appreciate the constructive feedback that you have given. With regards to the numerical '3' that you mentioned, I shall put that into practice.
Once again, thank you and I hope to see you class too.
Yours sincerely,
Musfirah Binte Latiff
Dear Firah,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this clear and concise reflection. While I like the range of your description, it seems thin on your interests beyond the classroom. I do appreciate in particular the way you expound in detail on your strengths and weaknesses in communication and how you connect those to your module goals.
Your language use in this letter is quite good with just a few areas to review:
1. phrasing / word forms / number
one of the company’s event >>> one of the company’s events
2. punctuation
-- ...I had to present my ideas and give constructive feedback which gave a platform to show my oral communication skills. >>> ?
see https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/comma.html
3. verb issues
-- ...my goals for this module is to improve.... >>> (subject-verb agreement) ?
Overall, this is a good effort though. I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read and point out the mistakes in my email. I appreciate the feedback given and I shall work on improving myself.
I look forward to learning more about technical communication in the upcoming lessons.
Yours sincerely,
Musfirah Binte Latiff